Friday, May 15, 2009

What a difference a year makes

A year ago today I was still back in Ohio. My house, our first home and the one both my children would spend the beginning of their lives in, wasn't even on the market yet although I was desperately working to clean out every closet and corner. A year ago today I was only the mother of one. N was thinking about arriving, but decided to hold off for two more days so I could check off one or two more things from my mile long to-do list. A year ago today I was out with my husband, J and my in-laws celebrating B's birthday and the fact that he had gotten a new job. A year ago today B was still mourning the loss of his dream job offer with a large brewery and was still trying to think of himself as anything but a brewer. A year ago today J was only just seeming like a toddler, was miles away from potty-training and never even thought about going to school. A year ago today I had two dogs, Zoe and Pauli, who were sweet and rotten and wonderful and trained to fit our lives. A year ago today I was anxiously awaiting the birth of my second child, the sale of my house, and the total upheaval of the world I knew as we prepared to move almost 20 hours away to the unknown world of Texas. A year ago today I was putting on a brave face, but I was scared--scared of the unknown, scared of moving away from our friends and family, scared of what life might or might not bring.

Now I am a Texan--and sometimes I even feel like one. Now I am the blessed mother of two wonderful boys and one peppy puppy. Now I have a three year old who is potty-trained, who knows letters and numbers, who loves to draw and paint and do 60+ piece puzzles, who just finished his first year of preschool. Now I have a second baby who's not a baby anymore, a little guy who is walking and wonderful, my little sunshine who turns 1 year in 2 days. Now B is celebrating his one year anniversary with Dr. Pepper and another birthday. He still dreams of making beer again, but seems very comfortable in his role as an engineer; at times, I think he even enjoys it. I am still shocked by the loss of Pauli and Zoe, but I feel blessed to have our little Pepper and am happy to know that we have such a good dog to help raise the boys these next few years. Now I have a new home in a wonderful neighborhood where I feel blessed to live because we have made so many friends here. Now I have a new best friend who I can't imagine not having, who I spend more time with than I have any friend ever (except maybe my sister). Now I realize how resilient my family is and how strong I am. Now I realize that no matter what we do or where we go, our world will survive, will grow, will get better and stronger.

What a difference a year makes.


sophanne said...

Hooray for you!

Thanks for your kind words on my last post.

Nicole B. said...

WOW! i knew (most of) that but seeing it all in one place does remind me how much has happened in such a short time....although i remember about a year ago feeling scared with/for you and being awestruck with how you dealt with all the change and uncertainty - you are amazing!

Erin said...

So glad you joined us!